My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey

Questions for Jill Bolte Taylor

Amazon.com: Your first reaction when you realized what was happening to your body was one you would expect: "Oh my gosh, I'm having a stroke!" Your second, though, was a little more surprising: "Wow, this is so cool!" What could be cool about a stroke?

Taylor: I grew up to study the brain because I have a brother who is only 18 months older than I am. He was very different in the way he perceived experiences and then chose to behave. As a result, I became fascinated with the human brain and how it creates our perception of reality. He was eventually diagnosed with the brain disorder schizophrenia, and I dedicated my career to the postmortem investigation of the human brain in an attempt to understand, at a biological level, what are the differences between my brain and my brother’s brain. On the morning of the stroke, I realized that my brain was no longer functioning like a "normal" brain and this insight into my brother's reality excited me. I was fascinated to intimately understand what it might be like on the inside for someone who would not be diagnosed as normal. Through the eyes of a curious scientist, this was an absolutely rare and fascinating experience for me to witness the breakdown of my own mind.

Amazon.com: What did you learn about the brain from your stroke and your recovery that your scientific training hadn't prepared you for?

Taylor: My scientific training did not teach me anything about the human spirit and the value of compassion. I had been trained as a scientist, not as a clinician. I can only hope that we are teaching our future physicians about compassion in medicine, and I know that some medical schools, including the Indiana University School of Medicine, have created a curriculum with this intention.

My training as a scientist, however, did provide me with a roadmap to how the body and brain work. And although I lost my left cognitive mind that thinks in language, I retained my right hemisphere that thinks in pictures. As a result, although I could not communicate with the external world, I had an intuitive understanding about what I needed to do in order to create an environment in which the cells in my brain could be happy and healthy enough that they could regain their function. In addition, because of my training, I had an innate trust in the ability of my brain to be able to recover itself and my mother and I respected the organ by listening to it. For example, when I was tired, I allowed my brain to sleep, and when I was fresh and capable of focusing my attention, we gave me age-appropriate toys and tools with which to work.

Amazon.com: Your stroke affected functions in your left brain, leaving you to what you call the "la-la land" of your right hemisphere. What was it like to live in your right brain, and then to rebuild your left?

Taylor: When the cells in my left brain became nonfunctional because they were swimming in a pool of blood, they lost their ability to inhibit the cells in my right hemisphere. In my right brain, I shifted into the consciousness of the present moment. I was in the right here, right now awareness, with no memories of my past and no perception of the future. The beauty of La-la land (my right hemisphere experience of the present moment) was that everything was an explosion of magnificent stimulation and I dwelled in a space of euphoria. This is great way to exist if you don't have to communicate with the external world or care whether or not you have the capacity to learn. I found that in order for me to be able to learn anything, however, I had to take information from the last moment and apply it to the present moment. When my left hemisphere was completely nonfunctional early on, it was impossible for me to learn, which was okay with me, but I am sure it was frustrating for those around me. A simple example of this was trying to put on my shoes and socks. I eventually became physically capable of putting my shoes and socks on, but I had no ability to understand why I would have to put my socks on before my shoes. To me they were simply independent actions that were not related and I did not have the cognitive ability to figure out the appropriate sequencing of the events. Over time, I regained the ability to weave moments back together to create an expanse of time, and with this ability came the ability to learn methodically again. Life in La-la land will always be just a thought away, but I am truly grateful for the ability to think with linearity once again.

Amazon.com: What can we learn about our brains and ourselves from your experience, even if we haven't lived through the kind of brain trauma you have?

Taylor: I learned that I have much more say about what goes on between my ears than I was ever taught and I believe that this is true for all of us. I used to understand that I had the ability to stop thinking about one thing by consciously choosing to preoccupy my mind with thinking about something else. But I had no idea that it only took 90 seconds for me to have an emotional circuit triggered, flush a physiological response through my body and then flush completely out of me. We can all learn that we can take full responsibility for what thoughts we are thinking and what emotional circuitry we are feeling. Knowing this and acting on this can lead us into feeling a wonderful sense of well-being and peacefulness.

Amazon.com: You are the "Singin' Scientist" for Harvard's Brain Bank (just as you were before your stroke). Could you tell us about the Brain Bank (in song or not)?

Taylor: There is a long-term shortage of brain tissue donated for research into the severe mental illnesses. Most people don’t realize that when you sign the back of your license as an organ donor, the brain is not included. If you would like to donate your brain for research, you must contact a brain bank directly. There is also a shortage of "normal control" tissue for research. The bottom line reality is that if there were more tissue available for research, then more scientists would be dedicating their careers to the study of the severe mental illnesses and we would have more answers about what is going on with these disorders. The numbers of mentally ill individuals in our society are staggering. The most serious and disabling conditions affect about 6 percent--or one in 17--adults and 9-13 percent of children in the United States. Half of all lifetime conditions of mental illness start by age 14 years, and three-fourths by age 24 years.

For more information about brain donation to the Harvard brain bank, please call 1-800-BRAINBANK or visit them at: www.brainbank.mclean.org

If you would like to hear me sing the brain bank jingle, please visit www.drjilltaylor.com!

Customer Reviews:

My Stroke of Insight

The book, 'My Stroke of Insight' by Jill Bolte Taylor is a remarkable read. It contains information everyone should know who might sit with or care for a stroke victim or anyone suffering from a brain injury. The chapter, 'Simple Science' is like taking a course in 'The Brain 101' as we are given a look at the workings of an organ that defines who we are. I recommend this book to the inquisitive and to inquiring minds.

Billy R. Boggs
A Critical Reader

2008-08-09

She shares the inspiration directly with the reader.

Dr Taylor shows her courage to break convention and formal ideas about this topic. Her experience in full view, with their emotional and philosophical content included. Not only was she inspired by her own journey, but she shares the inspiration directly with the reader.

2008-08-07

Interesting quick read

The author describes minutely her subjective experience of having a stroke and her struggle to recover. It's a quick primer on brain functioning, particularly on the activites of the right and left hemispheres. One feels great empathy and admiration.
However, the book could easily have been a magazine article, as it is quite repetitious. First, it becomes a catalogue of thank-yous to her mother, who aided her recovery. Second, it is an under-edited exhortation to train our minds to choose right-hemisphere thinking, which is more loving and accepting and less judgmental. Oops. Maybe I still need practice on that.

2008-08-04

Valuable information about stroke; but the book has its flaws

I debated over whether to give this book three, four, or five stars. The information that Dr. Taylor presents about the brain and stroke is worth five stars, without question. But I have a few complaints about how she presents this information; and lots of complaints about the "self-help" aspects of this book. I almost wish I could post two reviews of this book -- a five-star review for the information about the brain and stroke; and a two-star review for everything else about the book. I ended up giving the book a (somewhat charitable) compromise rating of four stars (but in some ways the four star rating is too low; and in others it is way too high).

Let's start with the positives: This book is a must-read for anyone who is interested in the human brain and how it functions, any health care professional or caregiver who deals with stroke patients, anyone who has a friend or family member who has had a stroke, and anyone who is concerned about the possibility that they might someday suffer from a stroke (a statistical possibility, since about 700,000 Americans will have a stroke this year). If you want to know about what it's like to have a stroke and to recover from it, this is the book to read. Dr. Taylor is a brain scientist who had a stroke and lived to tell her story of survival, recovery, and rehabilitation. The information she provides about her personal experience is priceless for anyone who wants to better understand what happens when someone has a stroke, and what is needed for recovery and rehabilitation. This information is also of extreme value for anyone who wants to better understand how the brain works to make us who we are. Five stars for the information on the brain and stroke.

But now I must deal with the negatives, and comment on the "two-star" aspects of this book. First of all, the writing style is a bit amateurish; but we can excuse Dr. Taylor for that, since she's a brain scientist, not a professional writer. But I do have a bit of a problem with how she tells her story. What bothers me about her account is her description of what was going on in her mind while she was having the stroke and during her recovery. She describes herself as having certain thoughts that just don't seem plausible given her description of the mental impairments she was suffering at the time. She makes a point of saying that the language centers of her left cerebral cortex had been impaired, silencing the inner voice in her head, leaving her mind in a state of peaceful quiet. Yet she goes on to describe thoughts that were running through her mind. (How could she have such thoughts without that inner voice?) I got the feeling that she was actually describing the thoughts that went through her mind years later as she was recalling her stroke experience. (But, given the fact that our minds actually "construct" our memories as we reflect on our past experiences rather than simply recording our experiences and playing them back for us with perfect accuracy, this sort of thing is to be expected.)

But what really annoyed me about this book was that, in the last few chapters, it turned into a sappy, shallow, self-help book of the "learn-to-love-yourself-and-think-happy-thoughts" variety; and includes what has to be the single corniest sentence ever written in the English language: "When my bowels move, I cheer my cells for clearing that waste out of my body." (p. 156) In these later chapters, the book even delves into "New Age" stuff like "energy dynamics", Feng Shui, and "Angel Cards". I felt that this seriously compromised the integrity of the valuable information that Dr. Taylor presented about brain science and stroke recovery. This information is so valuable that I would still recommend the book in spite of its many shortcomings; but I would encourage you to take the last few chapters of the book with a grain of salt.

2008-08-03

Great insights--for all kinds of brin injury victims

Two years ago, I had surgery to remove a golf ball-size tumor from my brain. The months of therapy that followed were difficult and intense, but ultimately successful.
I wish I had this book then, for its encouragement, practicality, wisdom, and "I've been there," message.
Reading it now has been meaningful nonetheless, and I could hardly put it down once I started it. I would recommend it to anyone who has suffered a brain injury--and anyone close to someone who has.

2008-08-02