Turistas (Unrated Edition)

A lot of negative reviews here might make you overlook this movie. It is in the Hostel/Saw genre of gross out, torture movies, but is actually fairly entertaining. The movie plays on the abduction fears many tourists have about latin America and steps it up a notch by adding in black market organ thieves. Sexy actors and actresses and a beautiful natural landscape provide nice eye-candy which coupled with an interesting story line makes for a good night of entertainment. Sure there is the obligatory gory scenes, but that is all part of this popular genre. The bottom line is if you like Saw you will probably like this movie. If you don't like the gross-out genre then this movie probably isn't for you.

This film touches a visceral nerve. Set against the beautiful scenery of Brazil, it follows the travels of American tourists unaware they are being lured to their deaths. If you liked Hostel (Unrated Widescreen Edition), you will enjoy this movie. The thematic elements are the same, but they are two very different films. I mostly stayed away from this one because it got some bad press, but upon viewing it, felt that it was well crafted and worth a gander, especially if you are looking for yet another layer of horror topography. And the nubile bodies bouncing around the screen don't hurt either. Check this out if you want a diversion from the abundant teen slasher or zombie fodder.

I will attempt to make this short, while hopefully covering some important points which will help you to consider this film for its merits as well as its flaws. Firstly. An initial caveat to all you raconteurs with high expectations. That is, do not--I say do not go in to see this movie thinking you are going to get a cinematic product on the level of an Alfred Hitchcock or Stanley Kubrick film. Yeah, don't think that. But I do not think that I am stretching things in saying that you will enjoy a fine time of it for about an hour. I say an hour because you will have to switch off for a good five minutes or so after that because the dissection scene is simply too grotesque and sadistic to endure, at least by my standards. Then you can turn back--but getting back on point, we are not giving this film its proper due. There are some out there who will say the movie did not deliver the goods, when in one sense, it is absolutely undeniable, an immutable fact, that the movie delivers "the goods" in force. The cinematographer, obviously a man, is here to help--he brings the camera to bear on one of the most ludicrously sensual and sexy casts in recent memory, this side of "Baywatch". That noteworthy program assembled a Hall of Fame gallery of hotness to which we still pay homage, but the assembled lineup of Beau Garrett, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, and the two Brazilian chicks at the bar, all in their swimwear, can honestly can suit up and play in the same game with, while obviously not surpassing, the legendary beauties launched to eternal greatness by the Hoff.
Point #2. If one is a horror fan, at the hour mark is good news--the miserable depressing plot about the crazy looney tune doctor and the organ transplant clinic take over the scenery, and the movie. If one is not, well one is in for a bit of a disappointment. Because a solid 50 minutes of character interaction, partying, and beautiful people in beautiful scenery fools us--we think then "Turistas" is about the tourists. When in fact it is not. "Turistas" is really about shock, about horror, about throttling the viewer with tension. The more one reflects it becomes fairly straightforward that the movie was really interested above everything else in becoming a worthy successor or perhaps heir apparent to "Hostel", the champion of the genre of the new supergross-out horror film. With reference to that film, "Turistas" is considerably more sparing with the gore, and that restraint is not a little of the basis of why it is in my opinion actually superior to "Hostel." That being said, the disappointment for me is still intact--the film had a set of characters from which to work with, and more of a story might have been crafted involving people in a terrible situation, but the carnage and chase scenes become whirlwind and frenetic, fast and furious and one loses track of who is dying, and who has died--the film should have cared enough about the characters to give us some more refined portraits, which would have made us care about who suffered the effects of its gratuitous violence. Otherwise the film is simply about the violence--and here it had at least the raw materials to do much better.
At any rate, perhaps I have been too harsh. There are actually some very effective chase sequences involving underground lagoons and caverns which keep the tension at a quite high pitch. One cannot help inwardly at least taking note of the remarkable athleticism of these young actresses and Josh Duhamel, all of whom are able to swim and negotiate tight passages underwater with great agility. It actually seems that the film requires their physical fitness and skill to be on a par with or even exceeding their dramatic skill. The tension is maintained at an unnerving level for a considerable length of time in this film, from the moment the demented doctor enters the compound among the confused and demoralized tourists. The denouement is a bit strange and anticlimactic, with a twist of fate one would not expect--but it could have been, for its sense of surprise, far more satisfying. But give it its due--the movie is one wallop of a rollercoaster ride. If I have to be faultfinding there are two aspects, maybe three I would address. The first is that the film should have attempted to add some depth and heft to the relationship between the characters. Since the actresses are deliriously beautiful for the most part and the actors reasonably charismatic/amusing, we would have appreciated some more meaningful interaction between them, to see some genuine relationships, romances or friendships form. The second is that the prostitution of gore in the pivotal scene with the doctor and Beau Garrett was an abject crime of gratuity that was simply unwarranted and, in all probability, a submissive bent knee to the climate of supergratuitous horror-porn which has become so nouveau-popular and almost chic as of late. Some sort of background context concerning the villain might have helped as well; his persona, his past, his motives are all enshrouded in a sort of vagueness that assumes we already know what in fact we don't. As a result, whereas he might have been presented bit by bit as an intriguing and interesting villain, he simply comes off vile and repugnant. In hindsight this film deserves a three star rating, though I prematurely gave it two. It rightly merits one and a half stars merely for filming a cast of blinding hotness in all the tropical splendor that is Brazil; had Beau Garrett survived, I might have been even more generous.

Horrible acting, worse plot...the only thing it has going for it is some good looking ladies, but even they can't make the film worth watching. Save 2 hours of your life and avoid this movie.

If you need a reason to keep your vacations within your home country, this trip makes the escapades in "Deliverance" seem like a nice rafting trip down the river!

He's my poetic tribute to this scary and very gross movie with apologies to "Don't Stand so Close to Me" from the Police.

Young a-dults... Decide to ...Go down to Brazilia
Big party...Great rum drinks...Hard bodies want the wild free love
A bus ride... gets crazy,...It falls down canyon wall
A bar is, close by now,..Let's head down to the shore

Don't take-...Don't take my...Don't take my organs out
Don't take-...Don't take my...Don't take my organs out!


Some Roofies, they mugged them, they ripped off all their stuff
The town folk ,don't like them, can't leave there soon enough
A rock thrown, there's bleeding, a mob soon starts to form
What ensues in their life next, they'll rue that they were born

Don't take-...Don't take my...Don't take my organs out
Don't take-...Don't take my...Don't take my organs out

Pleeaaassee
Don't take-...Don't take my...Don't take my organs out!